


Weekend at Bernie's

by wordbending



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Animal Transformation, F/F, Fluff, No Spoilers, Pre-Time Skip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 13:08:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28528974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordbending/pseuds/wordbending
Summary: As Edelgard awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, she found herself transformed on her desk into a tiny rodent.She did not, upon discovering she had paws, a snout, and a tail, scream - or squeak. She, if anything, considered herself a levelheaded individual. She needed to be, to be the future ruler of the Adrestian Empire.Which she could not be, if she remained amouse.
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg/Bernadetta von Varley
Comments: 10
Kudos: 37





	Weekend at Bernie's

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AMX004_Qubeley](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AMX004_Qubeley/gifts).



> A Holiday gift for my lovely, talented girlfriend. Please read her fics, but especially [An Adrestian Tail](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22093897)!
> 
> Note: I haven't finished the game or made it to the timeskip yet, so some elements may be inaccurate. Please don't spoil anything from later-game content in the comments.

As Edelgard awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, she found herself transformed on her desk into a tiny rodent.

She did not, upon discovering she had paws, a snout, and a tail, scream - or squeak. She, if anything, considered herself a levelheaded individual. She needed to be, to be the future ruler of the Adrestian Empire.

Which she could not be, if she remained _a mouse._

She _hated_ rats. It reminded her of... a time she’d rather not remember, and it was a cruel irony that she resembled one now. But she refused to cower to her fear and let whatever assassin had cast this curse on her achieve victory.

Trying to walk on two legs was effectively impossible, as she quickly found out when she walked forward and tripped flat on her snout, and she did not know how to use her newfound claws to climb up and down anything, much less the side of her desk. She didn’t even want to make the attempt, lest she have a nasty fall and _definitely_ end the line to the throne. Eventually, she figured out that she could very slowly crawl over the side of her half-open desk drawers and use them as enormous footholds.

That was step one in her plan to find Hubert, the only person she remotely trusted to cast magic on her - she definitely didn’t trust Hanneman, he’d probably want to experiment on her. Step two was much easier, since she’d either foolishly left her door half-open or the assassin had forgotten to shut it afterwards. All she would have to do was half-stumble, half-crawl out of her room.

The third step, however, was a problem. Namely, that the monastery was full of ravenous, untamed cats. She was not a fool. If she was unlucky enough to run into any of them, she would be a plaything and then a snack. She could not accept such a pathetic - and disgusting - fate. But neither could she accept remaining in this room, where she’d most certainly starve.

She made up her mind. She was going to have to risk it. If she remained in the shadows, stayed hidden, and moved quickly, she could make it to Hubert’s room, or at least to someone she could trust to bring her to him.

She started to make her way towards the open door and was nearly there when it swung open, and the only reason it didn’t slam into her and break every bone in her tiny mouse body was that the person opening it was opening it very, very tentatively. She scurried away before she could be seen.

“Y-your Highness?” said a soft, high voice Edelgard instantly recognized, even before the owner of the voice fully peeked their head around the corner. That messy mop of purple hair could only belong to Bernadetta.

When Edelgard did not respond, for obvious reasons, Bernadetta looked around.

“Um, Lady Edelgard? Are you... the Professor, she... said you were here...?”

Bernadetta slowly walked closer, approaching Edelgard’s desk. She peered around as if expecting Edelgard to be hiding in a corner (which was accurate) and then started looking _under_ Edelgard’s letters and documents as if expecting her to be hiding there (which would be very foolish in any other circumstance).

“Did she leave a note...? Wait, why are her clothes here? Is she... is she naked?!” Bernie said, and a wheel began to turn in Edelgard’s now-tiny brain - in reference to the mention of a note, not the nudity. Bernadetta could help her. They had fought side by side for months, under the Professor’s guidance - even if they weren’t exactly the closest of compatriots, she would still trust Bernadetta with her life.

Edelgard crawled carefully, but quickly, out of the corner and across the wall to the left of Bernadetta. She would reach her desk, find a way to crawl up it, and get Bernadetta’s attention. Then she would - once Bernadetta had calmed down, undoubtedly - find a way to write her a note explaining the situation to her and that she should be taken to Hubert on the double.

Letting the mouse instincts she apparently now had take over, she ran full force at the desk and raised herself to sink her claws into it, like a cat. Then, using her claws to stay attached to the side of the desk, she tried desperately not to think about falling as she scampered her way up the side and over the edge.

Panting, she turned to look at Bernadetta, who, much to Edelgard’s surprise, did not scream in terror at the sight of the strange mouse currently sitting on Edelgard’s desk. She only stared at it, completely stock-still.

And then Bernadetta’s eyes, for no reason Edelgard could discern, began to water.

“Oh. My. Gosh.”

Edelgard did not understand, not even when Bernadetta cupped her hands together and lowered them in front of her.

“You are _so cute!”_ she squealed, before making bizarre _pspspspspsps_ noses with her mouth that only made Edelgard’s head hurt.

“Bernadetta, please. This is embarrassing,” Edelgard said, but what she said instead was “Squeak.”

Of course that wouldn’t work, Edelgard thought with a mental sigh. She decided to ignore Bernadetta and instead started to crawl towards her quill pens.

At which point Edelgard was stopped by a solid wall in the shape of a single pale hand.

“Oh, no way, little guy,” Bernadetta said from above her, her voice sounding much more booming from this perspective. “I can’t have you running around Lady Edelgard’s room! You’re coming with me.”

Edelgard squeaked in alarm.

“Oh, don’t worry! I’m great with animals!” Bernadetta said, before trying to scoop up a panicking, squeaking Edelgard. “I used to have a pet mouse growing up.” Another attempted scoop as Bernadetta’s hands moved this way and that to stop Edelgard from running off the desk. “And the Professor’s been having me learn how to care for horses! Which are, um, not mice, I know, but... anyway... oh, hold still! I’m not gonna hurt you!”

And Bernadetta put her hand directly in Edelgard’s path, momentum keeping her from running out of the way before she was over Bernadetta’s palm and Bernadetta was lifting her into the air. Edelgard tried to run off Bernadetta’s palm (her claws causing Bernadetta’s huge face to wince) but like she was holding a spider, Bernadetta just put her hands next to each other or turned her hand this way and that so that Edelgard was running in circles.

Edelgard briefly considered biting her, but knew immediately that Bernadetta would accidentally fling her across the room, and decided against it.

“I guess I’ll find Lady Edelgard later...” Bernadetta said as she smiled happily down at Edelgard. “Be a good little mousie and stay in my pocket, OK? I don’t want you to become anyone’s dinner!”

 _Pocket?_ Edelgard thought, imagining it and imagining the ever-growing nightmare this day was becoming.

Bernadetta started to put her in her uniform pocket before Edelgard could squeak out a protest, and Edelgard promptly bit her anyway. Bernadetta let out a scream, but did not, much to Edgelgard’s relief, throw Edelgard across the room.

“OK, OK, no pocket! I’ll just carry you. Please don’t bite me again...”

Resigning herself to her fate, Edelgard sat placidly on Bernadetta’s hand, and Bernadetta carried her out of her room and down the grassy walkways of Garreg Mach.

Edelgard considered her options, since it was extremely improbable she was going to run into Hubert unprompted. She could wait until she got to Bernadetta’s room and then write a note, as she had planned before. She could escape from Bernadetta’s room when she went to sleep, using the darkness of the night to slip past the feral cats. She could ride on top of Bernadetta’s head, grab onto her hair, and steer her like a horse. No, that was ab...

“O-oh! Um! Hubert!”

Edelgard looked up into the well-defined, pointy, and now very large chin of Hubert, and immediately started shouting an undignified series of squeaks roughly meaning “Hubert, please, for the love of the Goddess, end this nightmare.”

“Your mouse is very loud,” Hubert replied. Edelgard squeaked louder.

“Ah, er, yes. He is.”

“She.”

Bernadetta looked down. “What? How... how can you tell?”

“I study mice,” he replied, sounding, as usual, far too amused with himself. “Call it an instinct.” His smug smile faded into a more serious expression. “At any rate, Bernadetta... I heard a scream from Lady Edelgard’s room. Which you just came out of. I assume that was you?”

“Oh, um... yes,” Bernadetta admitted, blushing and holding Edelgard closer to her chest (Edelgard tried desperately to stay on). “I found this mouse in Lady Edelgard... I mean, Her Highness’... room. But I didn’t see Her Highness anywhere! I swear!”

“Hmm,” said Hubert.

Edelgard took the opportunity to squeak, “I’m right here! You absolute buffoons!”

“Well, if you see Lady Edelgard, please inform her that I am seeking her counsel,” Hubert said, before briskly walking past Bernadetta. “And please, do something about your new pet. Before I do.”

“I’m not going to let you kill him!” Bernadetta screamed, holding Edelgard even closer to her chest. “Her!”

“I said nothing of the sort,” Hubert replied, although only Edelgard could tell that, despite his entirely amused tone of voice, he was completely serious.

Bernadetta let out an angry huff, turned on her heel, and walked towards her room. Edelgard tried to remain her usual collected self and not continue screaming in frustration as Bernadetta opened the door, marched in, set Edelgard on her desk, and went to her bed to grab a pillow and scream in frustration herself.

Edelgard didn’t waste time. Scurrying over to Bernadetta’s quill pens, she stood unsteadily on her hind legs and stretched as high as she could (which was, surprisingly, high - mice were limber, she supposed) to reach one, pull it down, and dip it into the inkwell. She wobbled her way towards the papers on Bernadetta’s very disorganized desk, holding the quill pen (which was twice her height) the entire time, and started to write in handwriting that would have made her tutors faint.

“I AM EDELGARD.”

Bernadetta, on the other side of the room, stared at her. Good, Edelgard thought - maybe a mouse that knew how to write would be enough proof for her.

Smiling as smugly as a mouse could smile, which wasn’t very, Edelgard set down the quill and returned to the surprising comfort of being on all fours. Bernadetta continued staring for a long moment, and then, as if she couldn’t believe what she had just seen, walked over to the piece of paper and lifted it.

“Wow, miss mouse, you’re talented!” Bernadetta said cheerfully. “What’d you draw?”

And Bernadetta turned the paper around to her, revealing completely incomprehensible scribbles. Edelgard’s ears drooped.

“I can only draw stick figures,” Bernadetta said with a laugh. “Maybe I can commission you sometime?”

Edelgard flopped over. She gave up. She was going to live the rest of her probably now short life as Bernadetta’s pet, and there would be nobody to rule the Adrestrian Empire, and Fodlan would fall to ruin. But what was she supposed to do, squeak at different lengths to spell out letters?

“Um, I better get you some food and a bed,” Bernadetta said, voice wracked, as it nearly always was, with anxiety. “Please don’t run off, OK, miss mouse?”

Edelgard squeaked in defeat.

“Actually, I can’t call you ‘miss mouse,’ can I? I have to give you a name too. Oh, I’ve got it! Since I found you in Lady Edelgard’s room, and I want you to grow into a big strong mouse like Lady Edelgard... I mean, not that she’s a _mouse,_ she’s like an _eagle,_ and they eat mice, so... um _,_ anyway, how about I call you Little Edelgard? Or just L'il Edel?”

Edelgard, feeling all remaining dignity leave her, sighed out another squeak.

“OK, L'il Edel it is! I’ve got some cheese around here somewhere... hold on...”

Bernadetta bent over and began to rummage through the things on her desk, pulling free a number of objects, all of which she guessed were from one person - an armored stuffed bear, a handkerchief, a book of sheet music, a _painting_ \- and then pulled out a cute, small wrapped basket full of assorted foodstuffs, mostly fruits and sweets. Inside the wrapping, there was also a small block of Bridigian cheese, which instantly explained where the gift had come from.

Humming to herself, Bernadetta unwrapped the bow and the wrapping from the basket, and then took the cheese out of it and presented it to Edelgard.

Edelgard didn’t have to sniff it - she was not a fan of cheese of any kind, and found it disagreed with her digestion - but out of politeness, she sniffed it, made a face, and squeaked her disapproval.

“Oh, you don’t like cheese?” Bernadetta said with a frown, before setting it back. “That’s weird. I thought that was like rabbits and carrots. You know, like those children’s books about the talking bunny?”

Bernadetta looked at the basket.

“What about peaches?” she said with a smile, taking a peach slice from the basket. “Y’know, L'il Edel, the real Edelgard _loves_ peach sorbet.”

 _She knows that?_ Edelgard thought, before squeaking what she hoped passed for an approving squeak. Bernadetta lowered the peach slice to Edelgard’s mouth, and Edelgard hesitated for just a moment at the idea of eating something like this, in this body, before hunger won over and she bit off a chunk of the peach. Taking the little chunk in her paws, she chewed on it - somehow, it was even _more_ delicious, which she could only assume was because she was that much smaller.

“Stay here, OK? I’m going to make you a bed.”

Bernadetta walked over to the other side of her room, towards her bed, and Edelgard watched as she picked up one of her pillows. Then she watched as Bernadetta drew a knife from the end table next to her bed. For a short moment, Edelgard became concerned that she was actually in the room with a very twisted individual, but all Bernadetta did was stab the pillow and slice a hole in it, letting feathery down fall onto her hand.

“I could just give you _this_ pillow,” said Bernadetta, sensibly, “but it’s so big. What if you roll off in the night and, and... go splat! I can’t take any chances with you. I’m sworn to protect you, L’il Edel!”

Bernadetta sliced out the flap she’d made in the pillow, making it large enough to form a slightly-larger-than-mouse-size square, and then cut out another square from the pillow. She set the two squares down on the table, and Edelgard watched with interest as she took something small out of a drawer in her end table. It took her a moment to recognize it as a sewing needle.

Taking everything in her hands, Bernadetta walked back over to her desk, and Edelgard squeaked at her as she sat down, put the feathery down between the scraps of pillow, and began to sew them together.

“Y’know, L’il Edel, I... I can’t help but look at you and, um, feel like the real Edelgard is here, watching me. And when... when I do that, I feel so... inspired, and, and strong, like she is.”

Edelgard didn’t squeak, but only because she was too surprised to. Bernadetta, without looking at her, carried on.

“I really admire Lady Edelgard. Like... _really_ admire her. Y’know?”

Edelgard didn’t know. She squeaked, as if to ask her.

“Oh, well... um... um... I’m too embarrassed to say it!” Bernadetta suddenly shouted, raising her hands, still carrying the sewing needle to her cheeks. She flinched and lowered the needle before dabbing at the tiny pockmark with her sleeve. “Ow, that hurt...”

Squeak.

“Oh, right. You wanted me to tell you?” Bernadetta asked, looking down at Edelgard, who was beginning to believe that maybe mouse squeaks actually were good for communication. “OK, OK, fine... I will. But it’s a secret.” She looked around conspiratorially. “So when the real Edelgard comes back, you better not say _anything_ , OK, L'il Edel?”

Edelgard briefly wondered if this was a breach of Bernadetta’s privacy, but she couldn’t help but be curious as to what Bernadetta possibly saw in her. She may have been a ruler, she may have been bred and raised to lead her people, she may one day command armies, but... the same could be said of Claude and Dimitri. Even the Professor commanded more respect than she felt she deserved.

She squeaked.

“I...” Bernadetta blushed deeply, but she smiled. “I love her.”

Edelgard’s tiny heart skipped a beat.

And then it nearly jumped out of her chest, because someone kicked the door open. Instantly believing it was the assassin out to finish the job, Edelgard scurried as quickly as she could to the corner of the desk, and Bernadetta stood up between her and the now open door.

Instead, it was... Hubert, his hair drenched in sweat, breathing heavily.

_“Let me see that mouse at once.”_

“I’m not letting you kill L'il Edel!” shouted Bernadetta, spreading her arms out like a purple-haired wall between Hubert and Edelgard.

From what Edelgard could see of Hubert, he looked unusually flabbergasted. “I... you called her... _that_ _is Lady Edelgard,_ Bernadetta.”

Bernadetta looked over her shoulder at Edelgard, and then back towards Hubert.

“Um. Hubert. Are you feeling well?”

“I’ve never felt worse.”

He marched towards Bernadetta, looking like a steady, sweaty gale, but Bernadetta stood firm.

“That’s not Edelgard. I mean, I _named her_ L’il Edel... but that’s crazy, Hubert, you... you can’t turn people into mice!”

Hubert sighed.

“You found the mouse in Lady Edelgard’s room. Lady Edelgard’s clothes were on the floor. The conclusion is obvious.”

“No, it isn’t!”

Hubert rolled his eyes.

“Lady Edelgard, if that’s you, squeak three times.”

Edelgard squeaked three times.

“That... that doesn’t prove anything!” Bernadetta squeaked herself.

“Lady Edelgard, if you believe Bernadetta is being a stubborn fool, stand on your hind legs, spin in a circle, and do a charming dance.”

Edelgard squeaked as angrily as a mouse could squeak.

“See?” Hubert said.

Bernadetta stared, bug-eyed.

“You were listening to all that?” she said, and then backpedaled. “ _You’re a mouse?!”_

Edelgard squeaked.

“Why didn’t you tell me?!”

Angry squeak.

“Oh, um, right,” muttered Bernadetta, before she turned back to Hubert. “Can you... turn her back?”

“I’m not sure,” Hubert admitted simply, sending a jolt of panic through Edelgard's body. Someone had realized who she was, she thought - there was simply no possible way that she was going to accept being stuck in this body for however long she had left alive. “Give me her so I can properly research what malady has caused this affliction.”

Edelgard watched as Bernadetta coiled up into a nervous ball and shook her head rapidly back and forth.

“No! I’m not letting you do magic experiments on her! You might hurt her!”

“Bernadetta, do you really believe I would _ever_ hurt Lady Edelgard?”

“Not on purpose! But, uh, you might... accidentally hurt her? I’m not taking any chances!”

“Bernadetta! This is a matter of life and death! She can’t remain as a mouse!”

“No!”

“Give me the mouse!”

_“No!”_

“I am Ferdinand von Aegir!” shouted a completely different voice. Everyone in the room turned around to see, indeed, Ferdinand von Aegir standing in the doorway. Along with, behind him, everyone else from the entire Black Eagles house. _And_ the Professor. Edelgard had never before wanted to crawl into a mousehole. “...And I say that it is the decision of Lady Edelgard herself.”

“Um, mouses are not becoming from people in my home country, but I must give agreement to Ferdinand,” added Petra. “It is the decision of Edelgard.”

“Oh, you two are being silly,” said Dorothea, raising a finger. “Hubert is only trying to help. It’s no worse than taking medicine. I mean, Linhardt heals people with magic all the time. Right, Linhardt?”

“I have no strong feelings one way or the other,” replied Linhardt with a yawn.

“Well, I agree with Dorothea! Edelgard needs to take her medicine. No offense, Edelgard, but I can’t exactly spar with a rodent!”

“Then it seems we have reached an impasse,” said Hubert with a sigh.

“Ah, er, if I may be of the interrupting,” Petra said, “the Professor has not expressed her view of points yet.”

All eyes, including Edelgard’s, turned towards the Professor.

The Professor said nothing.

“Professor,” said Hubert. “Lady Edelgard has clearly lost control of her mental faculties as a result of this curse. Do you believe it wise that Lady Edelgard remain a mouse, possibly for the rest of time?”

Edelgard stared at the Professor’s perfect poker face as the Professor leaned in her chin in her hand in thought.

“It’s her decision,” the Professor said at last.

Hubert pinched the bridge of his nose. “You are all utterly ridiculous.” Edelgard looked up at him as he turned around and, for not the first time, looked down towards her. “Lady Edelgard, squeak once if you wish to remain in this state until I can find a remedy. Squeak twice if you would like to return to my quarters where I can study your ailment in greater detail.”

Edelgard had no reason to hesitate. As much as she wanted to be cured, as much as she trusted Hubert, she was also completely sure she didn’t want anyone experimenting on her with strange magic. She squeaked once.

Hubert bowed, despite how ridiculous he must have looked to everyone else - particularly to Dorothea, who repressed a snicker. “Very well, Lady Edelgard. If that is your wish, I am, as always, at your command.”

And, with that, chattering amongst themselves, the Black Eagle House - with the exception of Bernadetta - left Bernadetta’s room, leaving her and Edelgard alone.

Bernadetta sighed in relief, and then turned back towards Edelgard. Edelgard stared up at her, as much unable to believe that Bernadetta had confessed that she was in love with her as she was unable to believe that she’d become a mouse.

“Is that... is that, erm, really you, Edelgard?” Bernadetta asked softly.

Edelgard squeaked once.

“Ugggggggggh,” Bernadetta groaned to herself, pacing back and forth and burying her face in her hands. “I can’t believe I confessed to a _mouse...”_

With a sigh, Bernadetta sat back in her desk chair, grabbed the sewing needle and thread, and continued to sew together Edelgard’s new pillow.

“I, um, hope I didn’t offend you, Your Highness. If I... if I had known it was you...”

Edelgard didn’t know how, exactly, to express that she wasn’t offended at all, even if she had yet to understand it. She settled for the closest thing she could - walking over to Bernadetta’s arm, nuzzling it with her cheek for a moment, and then laying down next to her. Bernadetta looked over, smiled, and - after a long, hesitating moment, reached out and gently petted Edelgard’s head.

Edelgard fell asleep in moments.

* * *

The walls were closing in on her. They were getting smaller, and smaller, and smaller, with every moment, and it was getting harder and harder to breathe. Through the hole in the cell that should have looked to the outside, water slowly poured in as if from a waterfall, and it was beginning to flood the cell.

It was already up to her waist. Since when had she been so small?

Soon, it was up high enough that she was floating, and she realized she couldn’t swim. She began to panic, to flail, to struggle against the salty water steadily rising, but it only rose higher and higher and higher still, until it had rose past her neck, over her mouth, over her hair, into her lungs, into her blood...

She woke up. She was laying not on the desk, but on a small pillow next to a snoring Bernadetta, splayed out on her bed next to her. She must have been fidgeting in her sleep, and Bernadetta, in her concern, had carried Edelgard over so she wouldn’t be alone with her nightmares.

She had an abrupt, strange thought at that moment.

What if... what if she _didn’t_ change back? What if she did remain a mouse forever, taken care of, doted on, by Bernadetta, a woman who loved her? She could get used to that. She’d be abandoning her country, her soldiers, her people, but... the lack of that responsibility, that sense of duty, would almost be refreshing after all these years.

Maybe she could at least remain that way for a few days. She’d tell Hubert that tomorrow - a few days. That was all. If orders were still needed, she could deliver them through squeaks, but the Professor was more than capable. She would keep things from spiraling out of control.

Feeling more relaxed than she had in a long time, Edelgard closed her eyes and went back to sleep.

* * *

Bernadetta screamed, and then there was a loud, heavy thud of something hitting the floor. Edelgard’s eyes shot open, and she looked over the bed to see Bernadetta splayed on the floor, eyes and mouth wide open, struggling to speak, her forehead covered in sweat like she’d seen a living dragon.

“Bernadetta?” Edelgard said, and then touched her throat - her decidedly non-furry throat - at the sound of her own voice. And then she noticed how much smaller the bed had become. And then she noticed the real reason Bernadetta was staring.

Edelgard was a human again, and magic did not provide you fresh clothes.

The door opened immediately at the sound of Bernadetta’s scream, and Hubert - who Edelgard could only assume had been standing outside the door for the past twelve hours - burst through, took one look at Edelgard, and blushed the deepest she’d ever seen him blush before he quickly closed the door again.

“Bernadetta,” said Edelgard gently. “Do you have a spare uniform?”


End file.
